Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
