what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
