Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
