Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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