i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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