So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize