his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
