And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
