I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
They took my balls.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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