weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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