That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
