I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
