ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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