I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
