if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
