living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
