It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
