I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize