i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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