got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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