he wants to bone in the snuggie
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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