Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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