a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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