five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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