you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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