Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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