I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
