Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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