Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
