clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
