Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
