I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
