you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
