She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
