First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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