Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
