you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize