I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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