I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize