is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
