eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You were trust falling into bushes
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
