Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
