Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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