It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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