I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
