Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
