I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
