My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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