We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
