Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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