I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
