you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
