Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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