you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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