I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30