just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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