True but thats because hes a fetus.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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