id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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