you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
