i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
