I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
