If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We're too hungover to prance.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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