why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
