I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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