im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
